She’d Rather Wait For Jesus

“She said she’d rather wait for Jesus.”

“Wait. What? When was this?”

“Last night. I took her out to Chez Phillipe, like you said. I ordered champagne like you said. I gave the maitre d’ $100 to slip the ring into her champagne glass like you said.”

“Okay. So far, so good. What happened?”

“The waiter brought the glasses out and she saw the ring in the bottom of her glass. And… she freaked out. She started making like a fish out of water face, you know?”

“Yeah. Like this?”

“Exactly like that. And then it was like she was just putting random words together and hoping that they’d form a coherent sentence.”

“I see. So she said she’d rather wait for Jesus than marry you?”

“Yeah. I don’t get it. I thought she was into me. It’s been two days since we first met. Isn’t that enough time for her to be sure that we’re meant to be together forever?”